flitched9000 (flitched9000) wrote,

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Целко подстрелено

The Onion provides a step-by-step guide to the U.S. political polling process.

  • Step 1: Researchers begin by dialing every possible U.S. phone number combination, starting with (111) 111-1111

  • Step 2: Dinner interrupted

  • Step 3: Pollster asks to speak with the member of the household who best represents the nation as a whole

  • Step 4: Respondent selects poll difficulty level of “easy,” “medium,” or “hard”

  • Step 5: Thousands of poll respondents hearing candidates’ names for the very first time asked to make rational judgment about which one is better

  • Step 6: Pollsters listen for key epithets in voter’s rant to determine stance on immigration

  • Step 7: Pollster, respondent both silently wonder whether great cold-call conversation could blossom into something more

  • Step 8: Voters who are identified as undecided are forced to stay on the line until they make up their minds

  • Step 9: Pollster calls ex and remains totally silent when they pick up, just listening to the sound of their voice for a few precious moments before hanging up

  • Step 10: Poll’s margin of error determined by asking pollster how good a job they think they did

  • Step 11: Color palette for pie chart selected

  • Step 12: Statisticians explain why polling data was so flawed and inaccurate after election results come in”

Tags: "честные выборы" inc., c'est la vie, crime, crony capitalism, democracy crusade, political economy, vox populi, Барат в помощь, ВШЭ заела, британские учёные, истинное, креативный класс, марксизм, метко подмечено, модный приговор, мозгоимение, наука такая наука, пиндоз головного мозга, политота, смефйочки, статистика знает, чему не учат в школе, экономика и политика, это Сталин виноват

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